Jennifer Lopez to save the world!

J-Lo's O2 flow

Apparently today, Jenifer Lopez proved her green credentials by announcing plans to save the world from global warming (except she didn’t).  J Lo has been working closely with Professor Heinz Beanz of the Frankfurt Institute of Technical Stuff.

The daring plan involves a life size latex cast of J Lo’s arse being blasted into orbit and placed over the largest hole in the ozone layer. The singer / actresses arse will act as a sort of toupee blocking dangerous space rays from the earths surface.

Critics were quick to point out that this has been previously tried unsuccessfully with former Cheers star Ted Danson’s actual toupee . Professor Heinz Beans has argued that this time ‘Jenny from the block’ will be successful, as not only is J Lo’s arse considerably bigger but it is also dual functioning. Professor Beanz explained that he has designed J Lo’s arse to fart pure oxygen, thereby creating a therapeutic ’ Dutch Oven’ effect over planet earth utilising J Lo’s oxygenated farts. Lopez’s o2 emissions will therefore help to maintain the fragile ecosystem of mother earth by reducing Co2 Levels said Professor Beanz.

The arse is being built by Latex specialist Albert Dunkindonuts from World of Latex-’for all your Latex needs’. In a press release today Albert stated that despite the enormous size of Jenifer Lopez’s arse he still had plenty of latex left for other projects.

Professor Heinz Beanz

© PerezTravellodge – 2008