PAUL MCARTNEY IN VOODOO LEG SHOCKER!

Mills - " Im still standing "

My music biz chums have told me that rumour has it Paul Mcartney is dabbling in the dark arts (except he is not) following his split with hosebeast Heather.
Allegedly he has taken her favourite leg (except he hasn’t) and had it cursed by a voodoo witch doctor. Macca can often be seen in the fields of his country estate sticking pins into the leg and singing Mull of Kintyre (except he doesn’t probably).
Heather is furious said close friend Siguefried BurgerKing. It’s her best leg she has another two but that is her favourite – she really is hopping mad. It is believed that Mills may seek legal advice.

Pauls legal spokesman Tristram BurgerKing issued a statement today ” legally, as far as my client is concerned, she dosent have a leg to stand on”.

Reminds me of some jokes that Ringo once told me:
In a remote South African gold mine, a miner was setting dynamite to blast a seam when it exploded taking one of his legs clean off. As he was stretchered out, he was heard to sob “What will happen to me? I have a family to look after, we are very poor…who’s ever going to want a one legged gold digger?” then his mobile phone rings…”Hello? Who? Oh, Sir Paul…what an honour…”

Did you hear that Paul’s giving Heather her own plane as part of their divorce settlement? She still has to shave the other leg herself though.